Monday was spent doing some chores around the house; sweeping the floors, giving Izzy a bath, organizing things in the baby's room, deep cleaning our carpet, vacuuming and cleaning both vehicles, etc. We got most of the stuff done that we needed to complete before Isaiah's arrival, on Monday.
We did some errands on Tuesday and picked up a few things for the baby's room and some odds and ends here and there. But then the rest of the day (and subsequently, the rest of the week) was for US!
I think somewhere along the line in the past year, I forgot that I was a husband. I mean, I didn't "forget" that I am a husband, but I forgot what a husband is supposed to do. And as a result, I forgot about my wife. I have gotten so caught up into work and military life and the busyness of it all (taking college classes, extra formal courses thru the Marine Corps, participating in training exercises... let alone all of the extra time during evenings and weekends that the Marines need something that requires my attention or presence), that I have forgotten that I am first and foremost a husband who's number one priority (apart from God) MUST be his wife. And in this past week that I have spent with my wife, I have seen where I have so epicly failed.
I have taken my wife for granted. It is so obvious to me now, I don't see how I missed it before. She is so patient with the demands of the military on our relationship. She is so patient with me, as day after day I seemingly place a higher priority on other things in my life than on her. She is so understanding of my lack of love and leadership as I feebly attempt to be a good husband and leader of the home, all the while forgetting who I am a husband to. I have somehow forgot who I married over the past year. And in taking some days of leave that were spent solely with Joy, I realized that I forgot who my best friend was. And I missed her!
I remember when we were dating and courting and even after getting married, a lot of times we would just sit down and talk. Talk about what God's been doing in our lives, talk about goals and plans, talk about choices to make and bouncing ideas off of each other.... and somewhere, somehow, that kind of ended and all of these other things started taking up my time and devotion so that I forgot to simply sit down with my wife and see what she's thinking and just spend time with her. WOW! I have missed that time with her, and along the way she has been changing and I haven't even seen it. So this last week, I spent some time with my best friend again.
It was a wonderful week. Pretty much every morning we'd sleep in (well, mostly me) and then we'd do a little devotional and then just talk. About whatever, but mainly future choices that we are going to have to make, like staying in the Marine Corps or getting out, etc. But it was good. Because we were sharing our thoughts with each other and coming to conclusions together, rather than just one of us. I remember when we were going through pre-marital counseling together and our missionary friend that was counseling us told me some very specific things. He said that when we became married, I must remember to always be 3 things to Joy. Her lover, her leader (spiritual and otherwise), and her student. I have been okay at being the leader of our home and to her. I have been even worse at being her lover. But I think I have totally forgotten to be a student of my wife. To learn her, discover her likes and dislikes, understand her disposition under certain situations, sympathize with her strengths and weaknesses, etc. And when I've figured her out, continue learning!!! Because after our first year of marriage, I think that I had Joy figured out. But unbeknownst to me, people ACTUALLY change as they grow older. Who d've thunk? So maybe Joy reacted one way to something when we were first married, but now two years later and a whole lot more mature, she acts a little differently to the same situation. And I missed that concept entirely. I stopped being a student of my wife and stopped studying her and learning her and learning how I can be the best possible husband and best friend, fit only for her. THAT is where I have epicly failed.
So that's what I did this past week. We spent time together. We didn't really do anything fancy, but just hung out like best friends do. And I got to know my wife again. And let me tell you, she is an amazing woman. It takes a special kind of woman to be a military spouse, and an even more special kind of woman to love someone as special (deet da dee!) as me. I am so thankful to God for how He has blessed me and blessed my family. I truly do not deserve His goodness.
Maybe I will write another blog soon about how amazing my wife is, but that might be boring to everyone else but me. So I'll save you. But I hope that this blog encourages anyone who reads it (who's married or hopes to be someday) to share life with their spouse, and to not forgot about that faithful lover who is at their side thru thick and thin.
Here we are (yesterday) enjoying some coffee at Hiro's Coffee Farm, a local coffee farm that grows, roasts, and produces their own coffee on Okinawa.
